Just for my own referance, written with the help of his partner Jessica and read February 11th 2015.
A Humanist Ceremony
To Celebrate the Life of
David Milner
6th December 1955 – 30th January 2015
Opening Music
“One Love”
Performed by U2
Beginnings
Welcome everyone who has joined us to commemorate and celebrate the life of David Milner, which reached a sudden and unexpected end after suffering a heart attack on morning of the 22nd January. He was rushed to Huddersfield A&E, before moving to Leeds General but was unable to pull through and passed peacefully in his sleep on January 30th. It has been great shock for Jessica and the family as well as colleagues and the many, many friends that David had acquired throughout his lifetime. Lots of them have sent their messages of condolences on to Jessica, Jack and the family have been both overwhelmed and humbled by the response thereafter.
We know that David would not want any overly sentimental pontifications – just a simple goodbye that fits with the life he led. Jessica has chosen music that brings back good memories – we arrived to U2 singing “One Love” a song that David attempted to cover at a karaoke evening once – leaving everyone laughing at how bad it was.
The Tribute
David was born on the 6th December 1955 and was the youngest of four brothers – Johnny, Steven and Gary. They had three younger sisters – Susan, Sharon and Tina. His mum and dad were May and Jack Milner and the family lived, and were synonymous, with the Brackenhall area.
David was always very close to his mum. Both parents worked very hard instilling a strong work-ethic in David, and this was rewarded with earning a place at King James' Grammar school. Whilst there he was involved in lots of sports, playing cricket and being a part of the chess club, but it was football that was his main passion and that stayed with him thanks to his love for Manchester United Football Club.
His association with the Red Devils began thanks to the 'Busby Babes' and a certain George Best however there was only one 'King' in David's life and as he insisted 1966 was a great year for football not because England won the World Cup, but because Eric Canton was born. During the seventies he went to many of their matches in the days that Sir Matt Busby was replaced by a string of managers trying to get the best out of George Best and Denis Law. Jack described his Dad’s love of football as his religion. But it was not the only thing David was passionate about.
Whilst his youth was spent honing his skills on the football pitch, it was also spent earning an education on the card table. The family did lots of card playing in those days – with May often cleaning them all out – only to cave into giving David his money back, to the bemusement of his brothers, but mainly just to get him from under his mother's feet. He could sulk like no-one else!
David has always loved his music and in those days he’d save up to spend money on records – his favourite group then probably being the Beatles. His big brothers Steve and Gary have always looked after him and David has enjoyed being able to rely on them throughout life. Despite living in a period without mobile phones or the internet David would always manage to track down his older brother Steven, and he'd pick him up from whatever drinking establishment he would invariably be in. Despite serving his apprenticeship in the Maypole club, he eventually moved onto shutting down many pubs clubs along the length and breadth of Huddersfield however more recently he could be found in charge of the remote control at Primrose Hill cricket club.
After leaving school David went onto work for various companies, and despite the company and the location, his strong work-ethic was constant, as was his ability to make life-long friendships. For David, the best thing about his work was the people he met whilst working there. He worked at Robinsons for twenty years but in more recent times he has worked for Dr. Reddys. He had worked long shifts, 12 hour days and nights, which gave him his beloved 18 day breaks several times a year with one of them likely to be filled with a trip to Benidorm. He managed to squeeze in three visits in one year not so long ago.
David was blessed with two children, Jack and Stacey, from his time with Denise, meeting her in The Boardwalk in town. Jack was born on the morning of David's 32nd birthday, with David stating that waking up to hear his son wish him Happy Birthday and vice verca was the best gift any father could wish for. Despite David and Denise's relationship not lasting he was never more prouder about being Jack and Stacy's father. Another example of his strong paternal instincts was taking in many friends at Malvern Road, with the spare room frequented by many of us here - some for just a night, others he couldn't get rid of for years.
He met Jessica when she was working at David’s then local The Steam Pig, and despite being warned off by many of the regulars, his dry-wit and charm apparrently won her over . Not the most organised of people, David arranged to meet her at Johnnies one night and whilst she arrived promptly and punctual David on the other hand arrived a little late and a little tiddly poo. These were in the days before he discovered 'Steel Rod'. When they moved in together Jessica had no illusions about how serious David was however she knew there was real commitment there when he added her in on the Council Tax. Apparently Kirklees weren't used to these type of phone calls.
In the sixteen years they’ve been together he’s bought her lots of presents, just not always the most appropriate or tasteful ones. He loved treating her to the more 'unique' present such as The Valentine’s Day he gave her an onion that took some explaining. She liked onions and he didn’t so he thought he’d buy her one so she was not deprived. Other gifts have been torches, a hairbrush and a foldable exercise bike. The day that Mary Rose’s 1001 Handy Hints was bought for Christmas was a last straw, however his logic was it would be useful to know how to get the red wine stains out of the carpet.
David was a very intelligent man, who thrived upon facts and figures, histories and dates, odds and results, and was a statistician's dream. Such was his stubbornness and intellect that if he were unable to answer a question for whatever reason, he would have to find out the answer immediately. He was well read on many subjects but somehow the practicalities of common sense passed him by. The day he put his leather jacket, a pair of trainers and a pillow in the washing machine and then attempted to dry them in front of the living room fire was a good example of that. Not the most sensible of actions. So intelligent, but no common sense.
When it came to the world of sport, David loved his football and loved his racing but it was the golf where he thrived, keeping him entertained for four days a week. Such was his character that despite form figures or past histories David couldn't back a golfer if he didn't agree with their morals, their football allegiances or their indiscretions. There's was no chance he would ever back Ian Poulter for example, an arrogant Arsenal fan. A normal day off for David on a Thursday would be somehow always managing to spend £10 in the local shop, going on a meat-run at his cousin's butchers in town and then settling down with two tournaments at his mercy.
Despite this, he had little interest in materialistic objects, he was generous in offering any possessions as a gift - even if Jessica had bought them him as a present. Poor Jessica had to watch her first ever full set of crockery given away to someone else who was just setting up home. But she has learned to live with David and his ways. He was more interested in cards than presents – often making great efforts to put a personalised message in those he sent and keeping everyone Birthday, Christmas and Fathers Day cards he had ever recieved.
Whilst admittedly set in his ways, he has made giant strides in recent times and has swapped Benidorm and Tenerife for Mexico and Barbados. Last year David and Jessica went to the latter and this year David had even proposed the idea of Thailand or Vietnam as unbelievable as that sounds to the many here that know him. Despite his globetrotting exploits, his favourite venue remained Benidorm, where a bottle of Mahou at Churchill's replaced a pint of John Smiths at the club. The first road entering Gibraltar is Winston Churchill Avenue and David and Jessica enjoyed an excellent week there in 2013, and were looking forward to visiting Jack there again in the spring.
Jessica has been David’s longest lasting relationship and there was never any doubt about their love and commitment towards one and other. Last Christmas was particularly special as Jessica’s mother came over from Australia, with her brother Gavin travelling up from London and Jack flying in from Spain. Despite Malvern being at full capacity and beds being a premium it proved a cosey family Christmas. Another example of David's quirkiness with gifts was constructing a light show with 'Merry Christmas Mum' being spelled out in fairy lights in the back garden. David said it was the best Christmas ever, despite often comparing it to living in the Big Brother house.
Whilst being loved by those closest to him David was also a great influence on his many nieces and nephews and took great pride in being part of their childhood. They, along with many others, are going to miss him now. The messages of support from them, and friends and family alike whilst David was in hospital was incredible, as was the support and care he recieved from the staff at both Huddersfield and Leeds Infirmary, in particular the ICU at Leeds General and for that his family will be eternally grateful.
Reflection
You will all have different memories of your time with David. We will have some quiet time now to think about his life and the things that were important to him.
Two minutes silence
The end of a life is always a sad time. It helps to note all the times that have brought a smile to your face as you think about David, as those are the memories that will bring you comfort in the days to come. It can be hard making sense of what has happened when death has arrived so suddenly. It is up to each of us to make the most of our time and none of us know just how much longer we have
With all your memories and thoughts of David held safely in your hearts, I will ask all of you who can to stand now so that we can say a formal goodbye to David.
The Commital
David Milner has lived his fifty nine years of life taking pride in doing things his way. He has loved and been loved. He has researched and gathered knowledge in topics of interest, and shared his opinions with oblivion. He has made and lost friends, won and lost many a bet, and found his happiness in being with those he loved. We commit his body to its final journey with sadness at losing him but joy that he was part of your lives for so long. He is now beyond the pain and suffering that human life can bring and is at peace.
Do please sit down.
Closing Words
It is always good at times like this to be able to share stories and memories of the person you have lost. There will be time to do that after the ceremony back at the Primrose Hill Cricket Club where David spent a lot of his time. You are all invited back for refreshments and to continue the celebration of David’s life.
If any of you wish to make a donation in memory of David, his family have chosen the British Heart Foundation to benefit and there will be a collection plate as you leave for any contributions you wish to make today.
We will end our ceremony with another of the songs David liked which seems an appropriate choice – Don’t Look Back in Anger by Oasis. As it plays do if you wish come forward to say a personal goodbye to David. I now close with what would have been his most likely words if he were here at this time; 'The club's open, what are you all still doing here?'
Closing Music
“Don’t Look Back in Anger”
Performed by Oasis
